:: Finding Confidence ::
Tree branch taken at Yates Mill, in Raleigh, North Carolina
'Knowing' artography by © Christy Hydeck 2009
"Be like the bird who, halting in his flight on a limb too slight,
yet sings, knowing he has wings."
-Victor Hugo
I want to BE that bird.
Some days I AM that bird.
Other days I forget that Itoo, have wings.
Self Confidence is a tricky, delicate thing if you ask me - and a subject I find myself reflecting on quite frequently. Circumstances in my life have changed drastically this year; challenging me on nearly every-single-little-or-big-aspect in my life. Until this year... I don't think I had realized just how much I unintentionally looked elsewhere to validate my worth - when in truth it is my own validation that was so sorely needed. I suppose I thought I had just the right amount of confidence since I can easily rattle off my strengths, and balance that just as quickly with a list of my shortcomings. I don't see myself as someone afraid to try things, yet it has become apparent that fear has kept from me so many possible joys I could have obtained had I just given something a go. I have been reminded of a (painfully) harsh lesson this year; that by protecting myself from failures, I have hurt myself more than if I had just... well, let go. I gave others my power, instead of harnessing it myself... a mistake many of us all too often make.
We speak so often on the importance of self esteem, yet rarely do we acknowledge how it is obtained. Much like art, the importance lies in the process, not the result. Esteem isn'tinnate, it is built by overcoming challenges and learning how to cope with the inevitable failures that cross our paths. I am learning to look at life how I have always seen art and how I view creativity. I am adapting my mantra to fit my personal battles and not just my professional ones... it bears repeating:
For everything I create, there will be someone who loves it, someone who hates it, and someone else who could care less." -Chrysti
So... ultimately, it is how I feel about it that matters - the rest? It is just noise. I heard someone once say - 'give it your best, and forget all the rest...' doesn't that ring so very, very true? Knowing that has always kept me focused on the journey and what gifts I stood to learn along the way. Now, I am learning how to apply it to the other aspects of my life... and yes, I am becoming more confident by the day... and where there is confidence, there is happiness....
All because I am simply allowing myself to fail.
What have you failed at recently? Cheers to both of our failures, and as a result... our triumphs.
Chrysti
