Will It Be Ok?

Mommy, WILL IT BE OK?

 Yes, it will.

But what if a big dog comes?

You will know whether it is friendly or not, if it is friendly, you pat it, if it is not you stand perfectly still and unafraid and it stops barking and comes to you and sits quietly beside you.

But what if there is thunder and lightning?

You sit at your window and watch the rain beating down over the houses and fields in the dark night.  You see how special it is because the lightning shows the rainy sky and countryside and all the city.  You pay attention because the loud thunder is calling you and saying, “Look, the world is receiving a deep drink”

But what if there is lots of snow?

You put on your thermals, gloves, coat and scarf and play in it.

But what if snakes come in the night?

You keep a flute by your bed and play a song and the snakes hear and are quiet.

But what if the cabbages don’t come up?

We drive to the nursery, purchase seven tomato plants, just in case.  When we come home we dig seven holes in the garden and plant a tomato in each one.  We pat back the earth around them and pour a bucket of water around them.  Then we go inside and read a book.  When we come out again there is a tiny row of cabbage seedlings.

But what if I hate everyone?

You run away.  You pack raisins, walnuts, oranges, crackers and a flashlight in a bandanna.  You knot its four corners together and walk and walk until you come to the park.  You stay all afternoon, sitting by yourself under a tree.  When you come home again, you don’t hate everyone.

But what if someone hates me?

You feel lonely and sad.  You walk and walk until you come to a small pond. You kneel in the grass by the edge of the pond, you see something move.  You put out your hand and a tiny frog hops onto it.  Very carefully you lift your hand up to your ear and the frog whispers, “Other people love you. Maybe that person will love you again, maybe not, in any case it’s all right.”

But what if nobody likes the way I dance?

You go dancing in the woods, alone in the crackling leaves.  One day you meet someone else dancing in the woods and you dance together.  You throw leaves on each other, you lie down in the leaves.  Then you go home and draw pictures and drink warm Milk together.

But what if you die?

My loving doesn’t die. It stays with you, when you remember you and me; you say, “What can I do with so much love?  I will have to give some away”.

So you love thunder and lightning, dogs and snakes, snow and planting cabbages.  You dance with other people in the leaves and run away with them. You love them and they love you, and you eat raisins together, so yes, it will be okay. -Crescent Dragonwagon

(Mom, my brother, me ... circa 1976)

One of the most fabulous women I have ever known ,who I also take great pride in calling a friend (thanks Kit), sent that to me years ago and I have yet to let go of it. Today, through another difficult time .. I found myself once again searching for it, seeking those words that would simultaneously provide me comfort and wisdom. Maybe, just maybe ... someone else needed the gentle reminder too.

And the fact that it is also Mothers Day? True kismet.

Isn't my mom beautiful?

Happy Mothers Day Mom. Thank you for your support and undying love throughout not only my life; but these difficult times.  Can't wait to see you in June.

 I love you with all that I am...

Christy Ann